have you ever thought of suicide?have you ever feel useless that you are not brave enough to do what you wanted to do??i thought of suicide since form one,well my friends as well.but,they have get over it and having a wonderful life now.but i am still lost in this darkness.at the same time,there is nothing i can do besides torture myself. i believe those people who concern bout me know how i tortured myself. i know its stupid to behave that way,but do i have any other choises?i always feel so sad that i am not brave enough to do what i wanted to do such as suicide.the only thing i can do is cut my arms and eat pills.it isnt enough! i smoke cause i hope i can get lung cancer and destroy my life but why am i still living?sis,i promised you not to smoke but again and again,i break my promise to you.i hope jie could understand my situation.Lock myself in the room is what i do every single day when parents at home.do you know what i hate about you?it may be wondering but well,you dont have to now.you break all your promises by giving a stupid excuse.aiya,i heard it wrongly..you think its funny?it hurts me alot but you did not notice.its ok,you dont have to.you dont have to care bout my feelings anymore.I DONT FUCKING NEED IT AND DONT EVER INTERFERE MY LIFE!JUST DONT TALK TO ME AND DONT COMPLAIN FOR NOT TALKING TO YOU.LAST BUT NOT LEAST,YOU WILL NEVER EVER KNOW THE REAL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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